To all those people who have made their profile pictures the red HRC equality symbol:

You are the shit. It may seem like a small gesture, but I know that myself and the rest of the LGBTQ community that see Facebook painted red for this cause well up with pride that their close friends and relatives show us that we are not alone in this fight for equality. Damn, I should write speeches.

[this was in response to a class blog post about stereotypes and being ‘othered’ and it was really enjoyable to write about. enjoy, tumblr.]

I am seriously tempted to just walk away now because this is honestly what I get to go through every day. 

I came out to my group of close-knit friends in high school to their lack of surprise. Before that, people wondered and questioned, but I’ve always walked with an air of confidence so I never experienced much out-right bullying because I didn’t seem like an easy target. I was also editor-in-chief of my yearbook and while that translated to little actual power, most of the idiots who did any type of bullying probably figured I’d photoshop penises onto their senior pictures or something so they also feared me in that regard. At least thats what I tell myself.

Anyways, my friends didn’t care. My immediate family did. They “othered” me for a time, and that hurt, but I’m from a small southern town much like Rome only much less progressive (yes, I know, Rome isn’t that progressive but it’s still more progressive than Calhoun), so I kind of expected my family’s response. 

The dust settled from me coming out to my parents and I moved off to college, a whole 45 minutes away from home. A lot of the time, I feel like I am not completely othered because I’m not one of those people who wear their sexuality on their sleeve. I’m a lot more than that. It’s just another part of my identity, not my entire identity. When I got to Berry, the first week was scorching hot, so I wore short-shorts. Not women’s nike running shorts like some guys at this school have decided to wear much to my chagrin, but shorts that used to be pants but I cut them because I needed more shorts and I’m crafty like that. I didn’t wear those shorts because of my sexual identity. I wore them because it was hot and I have awesome legs. 

I put that youtube link in this comment because it’s basically a compilation of what people - mostly girls - say to me on a day-to-day basis because they have this idea that I’m this ‘other’ object that they’ve always wanted to put on their desk so they can ask it dumb questions. Being othered in this way bothers me because I’m trying to have real friends and they are seeing my sexuality as the only part of me. They are “othering” me based on assumptions about an aspect of my identity. 

But the things I wear, how I act, etc are all of my own volition. I escape being “othered” by being a guy that happens to like other guys, not by being a “gay”. 

i’m not sure if many of you understand this

but today i’ve had to hear about and see pictures of how crowded local Chik-fil-A locations were, especially in my hometown - Calhoun, GA and where I attend college - Rome, GA.

and then i had to scroll through facebook to see many people who i thought were my friends, some were my colleagues - others, my classmates.

even some of them were people i grew up around - in my hometown. 

it’s just so shocking to see how many people support Chik-fil-A, even though they know myself and probably many others’ rights will be the target of direct harm from their purchasing power. 

and then there are those who are aloof. the people on facebook who have never had to have a sense of conviction for anything in their lives because their freedom has never been personally affronted while every one else stood by or even supported some effrontery.

their rights have never been threatened, their LIVES have never been threatened. those people didn’t have to go through years of uncertainty. 

they never had to stay in the closet - the dark, lonely, scary closet for the majority of their lives. they never had to suffer like the members of the LGBT community had to suffer.

sure, it all sounds really trite and overdone.

but it’s the god damn truth.

maybe next time before you think about making some joke about how tired this chik-fil-a business is, maybe next time before you think about belittling marriage equality, maybe next time before you think about making generalizations like “well lots of companies do that too”, think about this:

chik-fil-a has put itself out there. they have said to our fucking faces without a single ounce of respect that we do not deserve the same level of happiness as heteronormative people because we are different. chik-fil-a has wounded us by funding hate groups and anti-LGBT legislation, just like many other companies. 

the thing that sets chik-fil-a apart from every other company? they are fucking proud of it. they would espouse it to every news network, radio station, newspaper, iphone app, email newsletter, everywhere if they could.

they hate us and blame us for “bringing God’s judgment” upon this country and they are fucking PROUD OF IT.

so, next time you’re thinking about being aloof on the internet because you’re not gay and this doesn’t effect you, think about how you’re a human fucking being just like us and you are being effected because WE AREN’T GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHIK-FIL-A UNTIL THEY ARE EITHER OUT OF BUSINESS, OR THEY STOP FUNDING GROUPS THAT WOULD TRY AND RUIN OUR LIVES.

so, shut the fuck up complaining. i’m going to be here for a long, long time. and i’m so far from shutting up.

pro-tip: Chik-fil-A + DoMA supporers…

Guess what? You don’t fucking own marriage, so quit acting like you have the right to tell me that I can’t get married because I want to marry a guy.

Marriage as an institution started before the Bible was even thought of… Look at Ancient Israel… Ancient Greece…

Marriage isn’t a uniquely Christian privilege either - atheists get married - and you cannot fucking stop me from living my life when I find my partner.

I’ll see you in court if I have to and when that date comes, I promise you I’ll win and become really loaded thanks to ‘emotional pain & suffering’.

Chik-Fil-A owns Berry College, and it’s students apparently.

Chik-Fil-A exec Dan Cathy has taken a stance on gay marriage.

and Chik-Fil-A is officially against it.

everyone is wondering why the restaurant chain would risk offending such a huge percentage of possible customers, but the reality is this:

the Cathy family has close ties to Berry College, the private liberal arts college I currently attend. 

Berry College currently lacks any official LGBT organization, even though the unofficial organization named LISTEN has been trying (to no avail) to reach officiated status since 2003.

either the board of trustees have voted it down, the president of the college at the time has vetoed it, or a larger figure in the background that is bankrolling a large portion of the student body has crushed it. all 3 of these situations are definite reasons as to why Berry College has yet to have an official LGBT group - time and time again.

more recently - the spring semester of 2012 - there has been an outpour of support from professors and staff members who vocally questioned the lack of an official LGBT organization on campus in several campus wide emails. this dialogue was spurred by a recent homophobic hate crime that happened to a student on campus in the ‘safety’ of their own dorm room.

after the crime was committed, an investigation was launched and it shook the campus community to the core. 

and here’s where Dan Cathy’s recent statement gets sticky. 

Chik-Fil-A is the large figure in the background of Berry College, pulling strings where ever they can so that the campus community is some controlled bubble that operates in a way that pleases the Cathy family. 

when the partnership between Chik-Fil-A and Berry College began in 1984, CFA created the Winshape program as well. this program served as a separate campus that had strict rules and their own set of scholarships that was exclusive to straight christians and are not allowed to have sex before marriage, drink, etc unless they lose their scholarship.

this is all well and good. while Berry College is unaffiliated officially, the Winshape program within Berry College is affiliated with the Baptist church through CFA. 

there is nothing inherently wrong with the Winshape foundation, or the fact that Berry College has close relations with CFA as a result of the Winshape foundation.

but it seems that not only does Chik-Fil-A own Winshape, but it’s beginning to look like it owns Berry College. 

i am personally hurt by the fact that Chik-Fil-A is one of the major reasons why myself and fellow LGBT students of Berry College have to live in fear of another homophobic crime, or that we cannot gather in an official manner on campus, or that we cannot receive funding to hold campus events like other campus groups. 

whenever i applied to Berry College, i was looking forward to entering COLLEGE. an open-minded environment filled with critical thinkers and progressive minds. i was looking forward to finding a group of people that have been through much of the same problems i have been through in the past with all the frightening events that a human being of the LGBT ‘classification’ experiences. 

Chik-Fil-A has every right to judge what goes on within Winshape simply because students in the Winshape program SIGNED UP FOR IT WILLINGLY. 

i did not sign up to be a Winshaper because I am a homosexual man and I am okay with that. 

Now that Chik-Fil-A has come out with their official stance, we can at least say they are being honest with the fact that they do not want equal rights for all human beings based on an outdated religious ruling.

Chik-Fil-A: If love exists, it is from God. Who are you to say what marriage isn’t?